Family Jokes

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The Hotdog Slicer

Bert was working in a hotdog factory in Manila. Unknown to his fellow workers, Bert has untoward fantasy. “I want to stick my organ into

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Anong klase ba?

Tatay inutusan ang anak na bumili sa tindahan… Tatay: Anak bili mo nga ako ng softdrink sa tindahan. Anak: Coke o Pepsi? Tatay: Coke. Anak:

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Inaanak

Natoy: Pre, kumusta! Kasama ko nga pala itong inaanak mo, gusto ka raw makita eh. Jerry: Bah, ang laki na pala ng inaanak ko pre.

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Inday na naman

Amo: Inday bakit sunog yang tainga mo? Inday: Kasi mam, may tumawag kanina. Napagkamalang kung telepono yung plantsa. Wrong number naman pala – ang tanga!

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Hilutin

Nanay: Anak, sabihin mo nga kay tatay mo na hilutin ako. Anak (Bulol): Tay, tabi daw ni nanay iyutin mo daw sya. Tatay: Sabihin mo

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Sensitive

Titser: Mam, kaya ko po kayo pinatawag kasi napakalikot po ng anak nyo. Mader: Oo nga po mam eh. Pasensya na po. Pero napaka sensitive

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Di na kinakausap

Bok: Dok, nag aalala ako dun sa kapatid ko. Kasi dati kinakausap nya sarili nya. Ngayon hindi na. Dok: Eh di dapat matuwa ka kasi

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Naglibing

Pedro: O, brad tagal mo nakabalik ah. Saan ka ba galing? Juan: Sementeryo brad. Libing ng biyanan ko. Pedro: Ba’t dami mong kalmot sa mukha.

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OFW Blues

Mister tumawag galing Saudi… Mister: Honey kumusta na ang ating tindahan? Misis: Grocery store na honey! Mister: Eh yung tricycle natin? Misis: Taxi na honey!

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Ano ang tawag?

Titser: Maria, ano ang tawag dito (pointing to the male sex organ in the blackboard)? Maria: Mam, meron daddy ko nyan. Pag maliit, ginagamit nya

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Son: Mom, I’m going to the moon someday!
Mom: Nah, son! NASA has already stopped sending monkeys to the moon!